I decided it would be best
if I kept my promise as soon as I could.
And after barely escaping Tsukihi's awls,
I called Kanbaru's phone.
Kanbaru Suruga
Araragi-sempai, I'd really prefer that you not.
It's true that I said I wanted to meet your sister,
but that was a joke.
Temporary Shutdown
I wasn't serious.
No, well...
Araragi-sempai,
I mean, I'm really grateful for your kindness.
But I can't take your little sister's virginity!
charge forward
I'm not giving it to you!
I'd rather take it myself than give it to you!
The thought's enough for me.
Don't take the thought, either...
You can't have anything of my sister's!
And so, with some difficulty,
I promised to bring Karen to her this afternoon.
Okay, I'll get dressed and wait for you.
Why are you usually naked?
Episode 9: Tsukihi Phoenix, Part 2
Nii-chan, Nii-chan...
Do you know how to win every time at rock-paper-scissors?
Just knowing how will change
your rock-paper-scissors life forever.
Normally, I'd just keep it to myself...
But thanks to you, this is a great day.
So I'll tell you specially.
I haven't even told Tsukihi-chan!
Fine, fine.
I'll listen to it.
Your kind, wonderful Koyomi-oniichan will listen to you.
Okay!
If you're that insistent, I'll tell you.
Let's try it.
But you know,
just learning it normally won't motivate you...
We should bet something.
Don't bother.
It's a pain.
No, we have to...
Or there's a possibility that later, you'll say, "I deliberately lost!"
I think deliberately losing at rock-paper-scissors is just as hard as always winning.
Okay, let's do this, Niii-chan.
An athletic punishment game.
The loser has to carry the winner the rest of the way.
Carry?
On their back!
Carriers Get Priority
Carry them all the way there.
Whatever.
If I lose, I just have to go back on it.
Okay, I get it.
That's fine.
You agreed more easily than I expected.
I'm not planning anything.
Trust your brother.
He'd never break his word...
That's right...
You're my pride!
I've probably broken thousands of promises to her.
Why would she trust me this much?
Let's go... Rock, paper—
Wait, wait, wait!
That's not how you do it.
You have to say the words yourself.
That's the first stage of the trick.
The first stage?
That's a lot of work to go through for rock-paper-scissors.
How many stages are there?
Two!
Mind the Step
Simple!
So what, you gain an advantage by saying it yourself?
Sounds kind of spiritual...
Not that it matters.
Then you say it.
Okay!
Here I go...
Rock!
Paper!
Do you get it?
Do you get it, Nii-chan?
You say rock, then paper, and then you put out your hand.
Thus, you can make your opponent,
who was waiting for the "scissors," go late.
The ultimate technique,
using the game's very name to cause your opponent to go late.
In other words, whether you throw rock, paper, or scissors,
since you've put your fist out too late,
I automatically win.
Now, Nii-chan, you're going to carry me!
Black scene
That's cheating.
What kind of idiot would admit defeat over that?!
And I just thought of it, too.
You just thought of it?
Karen-chan, you lost because you cheated.
Carrying me on your back isn't good enough.
You have to carry me on your shoulders.
Oh, fine...
Okay, Nii-chan.
Get on my shoulders.
Um, well...
Let's not, Karen-chan.
I've been studying too much. I've gained weight.
How much do you weigh?
Um, 56 kilograms.
Then I'll be fine.
Anything less than 180 kilos is nothing to me.
30 kg on the Moon
Do you live on the moon?!
P-Putting that aside,
it's one thing if you're carrying me on your back.
But on your shoulders, your ponytail is in the way.
Oh, my ponytail...
That's right.
Right?
You're right!
That's my brother.
You're always right!
A key?
Why are you taking out a key now?
Don't you use the ridges of a key when you
cut vinyl tape or tags on your clothes?
It's a lot lighter!
Oh, perfect. There's a trash can.
Right! Now I can carry you on my shoulders.
You've had that ponytail since elementary school!
Don't you have any attachment to it?!
It's long, and hard to take care of,
and a pain when I'm trying to sleep.
And when I get up, it's a mess.
I've always hated it.
You kept it anyway?
Okay, Nii-chan, let me carry you.
Let me carry you... Let me carry you!
Why is she so excited?
Why is she so excited, when she's the one doing the carrying?
My sister is totally a masochist!
This is all just a punishment game for me.
Um...
I'm standing up now.
Scared! Scared! Scared! Scared!
It's too high and very scary!
Neo-Tokyo 3
Let me down. Let me down.
Let me down now!
I'm sorry! Please let me down, Karen-san!
No, Karen-sama!
Nii-chan, got a sec?
What?
Your crotch is pressing into the back of my head, and it doesn't feel good.
Well, Nii-chan?
Don't you think we should cut off your crotch,
like I cut off my ponytail, to be fair?
Koyomi
Too scary!
Your hair might grow back,
but if you cut me off down there, it's over
in a lot of ways for a lot of things!
I see.
Still, Nii-chan, the weight isn't a problem.
But if you move too much, it throws me off balance. Can you stay put?
Don't be crazy...
I'm not like you.
I can't keep my balance with my head as high as a giraffe's.
Oh, fine.
It might take a little effort, Nii-chan,
but put your weight forward.
Put your head out, in front of my shoulders.
Right / Wrong / Shut the hell up.
Then hook your legs under my arms.
I'll lock them like the bar at an amusement park.
Like this?
All right!
Okay, now we're fine.
No, I'm not very fine.
I can't move a finger.
And my legs are going numb...
Hey, Karen-sama,
you don't think you've cut off the circulation, do you?
But it's easier for me.
Your calves were pressing into my breasts, and it felt weird.
And your crotch was pressing into my head,
and I was stuck between your legs.
Nii-chan, is giving someone a ride on your shoulders always this erotic?
No, normally the guy carries the girl.
Then let's go, Nii-chan.
You... Devil boy...
I'd like to ask you something.
Is that all right?
Well... I'm looking for a place called Eikou Cram School.
Do you know where it is?
Well...
What is it, devil boy?
When you were little,
didn't they teach you to help others?
Um...
How would an objective third party view this situation?
Which of us is weirder? The one atop the mailbox,
or the one atop his little sister?
I think she has the upper hand.
I can understand why she's calling me a devil boy.
My name is Kagenui Yodzuru.
Do you know me?
Gaze
My name is Araragi Koyomi.
I'm Araragi Karen.
A devilish brother and a hornet sister.
Interesting.
Black scene
Did she just say "hornet"?
Looks like that's over, so it doesn't matter.
So, well?
I'll repeat my question.
Do you know where Eikou Cram School is?
Let's see...
Hold on a second.
A friend of mine
has the rather terrifying talent of having memorized
locations for every cram school in Japan.
Okay, I'll do it...
I'll call Hanekawa-san!
Yay!
Hanekawa Tsubasa
Here I am.
This is Hanekawa.
Araragi-kun, are you studying?
Are you slacking off?
That's good to hear.
Me? Yeah, it's fine.
I was just doing some afternoon studying.
Red Scene
Eikou Cram School?
Yeah, I know it.
She really knew it.
You know everything.
I don't know everything.
I just know what I know.
Anyway, you should know Eikou Cram School yourself.
Because it's...
It's the abandoned building where Oshino-san and Shinobu-chan lived.
The cram school in that building was Eikou Cram School.
Eikou Cram School, huh?
I didn't know it had such a smart-sounding name.
It's nothing worth thanking me for...
Bye, Araragi-kun.
Black Scene
Say hi to Kanbaru-san for me.
Bye-bye!
I didn't say anything about going to see Kanbaru...
I was just asking her about a cram school.
How much of my private life does she know?
That's too steep a price!
You figure it out?
Devil boy.
Yes, well...
Explaining
I see.
So there's where it is.
But Kagenui-san, it's gone out of business.
Why are you going there?
Nothing special, I suppose...
First, to establish a base of operations.
Goodbye then, devil boy.
Oh, right...
You might get asked the same sort of thing
by a girl about this high.
Be as kind to her as you were to me.
What?
You've been really quiet, Karen-chan.
What's wrong?
Don't make me deal with a strange human like that alone!
Oh, sorry.
I was just thinking she was really strong.
So I was readying myself.
Strong?
Really?
She didn't look it.
Except for the way she acted and spoke,
she seemed like just an ordinary pretty woman.
Her center of gravity stayed constant,
the entire time she was chatting with you.
She had the balance of a figure skater.
But you also walk along the tops of walls, right?
And while handstanding.
Yeah, that's true...
But she's spent a lot of time training.
Her fists were perfectly shaped for punching people.
W-Were they?
Yeah. If she hit a car's bumper, she could set off the airbags.
Goodbye SRS
She's probably as good as my teacher...
I couldn't beat her myself.
My, Karen-san...
You're sounding pretty wimpy.
Black Scene
I can tell any difference in strength,
so long as my opponent isn't evil.
I see.
But I don't know for sure that she isn't.
After that, I took Karen to Kanbaru's front gate,
and introduced them to each other.
This is Kanbaru Suruga-san, a second-year at Naoetsu High.
She's a pervert, so be careful.
This is Araragi Karen-san, a third-year at Tsuganoki 2nd Middle School.
She's an idiot, so be careful.
Don't both blush at the same time...
Those weren't compliments!
Sister Brother
After seeing my sister to Kanbaru's,
I started home without any handstanding or riding on someone's shoulders,
Hachikuji Mayoi 5-3
when I found Hachikuji.
Jeez...
I'm certain you all expect me to leap on Hachikuji, in a burst of joy...
You all expect me to grab a girl,
innocent as a newborn fawn, from behind
and start rubbing my face against her.
No, I admit it.
There was a time when I would have.
There was.
But I'm an adult now.
I've no interest in the little girl called Hachikuji Mayoi.
But I suppose, given that I have no interest in her,
I've no particular reason to ignore her...
If I ignore her, she may get the impudent
and brazen idea that I'm deliberately ignoring her.
In light of this, and only in light of this, mind you,
it may mean that the smartest option would be to call out and greet her,
to prove how disinterested I am in Hachikuji.
Okay, then...
With that conclusion reached, it's time to get started.
I'm not hesitant in the least.
I have to go home and study, or Hanekawa will get mad at me.
But I'll spare a single minute for Hachikuji.
Now...
Now it's time to grab her as hard as I can...
To rub my cheek against her...
To touch and rub her...
To love her as much as I can...
Today, I shall embrace Hachikuji!
Hachikuji!
Araragi-san!
Shinobu, was that you?!
Damn! Damn you, damn you, damn you!
What were you doing? What?!
You screwed it up!
You screwed up the biggest event of my life!
No more blood for you, you golden-eyed blondie...
I should've abandoned you!
U-Um...
Um, Kikirara-san?
Hachikuji,
don't confuse my name with that of the little twin sisters of fancy goods.
My name is Araragi.
And when I flew past you,
you got it right.
Sorry. I bit my tongue.
No, you did it deliberately.
I smiled!
Too cute!
You're as bad at ad-libbing as ever...
No Cars
Off-Limits Detour
Anyway, Araragi-san, you must have lots of free time
on your hands to be wandering the city at this hour.
Have you given up on studying?
Wandering?
Have you given up on pretending to study to make Hanekawa-san like you?
That's really mean!
Failure as a Person
Well, she's not the type you could fool forever.
Let me guess.
She realized you were pretending to study so you could see her in her camisole.
Since half your motivation comes from her boobs.
What kind of person do you see me as?
The rest of it is from my hot, curvy body!
Where is your body hot and curvy?
Your body's more barrel-shaped...
You could make some delicious beef stew out of it.
Failure as a Person
I do like you, but I don't like flat lolis.
Danger
I only talk to you because you have big boobs, for an elementary schooler.
I'm taking a chance on the future of your
presently underwhelming bust.
Failure as a Person
No human being would ever say that.
But anyway, Hachikuji...
I'm dating Senjougahara, and I love Hanekawa.
But I plan to marry you.
Please don't be the first person to propose to me!
Danger Zone
Actually, don't propose to elementary schoolers.
Hmm... No luck, huh?
How can I get the overwhelming passion
in my chest to reach Hachikuji's heart?
Danger Zone
Touch it directly, maybe?
Will fondling them make her understand?
Black Scene
Oh, my.
Danger Zone
I sense the presence of something bad.
Be careful, Hachikuji.
I'm always after your breasts.
Given the slightest opportunity, I'd drop whatever I'm doing, to touch them.
Karabuki
By the way, Karabuki-san.
It's true that I plan to clean Kanbaru's room tomorrow,
but that doesn't make me a cleaning maniac who loves to clean.
Don't call me by a name that sounds like I clean with a dried karabuki cloth...
My name is Araragi!
Sorry. I bit my tongue.
No, you did it deliberately.
Failure as a Person
I bit you.
A love-bite?!
Yes!
This time, I ad-libbed a response...
I can do it!
Hey, devil boy.
No entry.
If you know, please tell me
which way I want to go...
I said, with a posed look.
No Entry
Danger Zone
I'm told there's a cram school
that went out of business called Eikou Cram School.
Do you know where it is, devil boy?
I said, with a posed look.
My name is Ononoki Yotsugi.
I said, with a posed look.
That's a stupid phrase.
And where the hell is your posed look?
Danger Zone
I see. I'm Araragi Koyomi.
Hello, devil boy.
I said, with a posed look.
Hi...
Um, Eikou Cram School is...
Construction Sorry for the Trouble
Turn Right
All right. Thank you.
You were a big help, devil boy.
And snail girl.
I said, with a posed look.
Danger Zone
Huh?
Danger Zone
Did she just call you "snail girl"?
Yeah, she did.
Huh?
Isn't that strange?
Come to think of it, Kagenui-san...
Kagenui Yodzuru...
She didn't just call me a devil boy.
She said something about Karen.
A devilish brother and a hornet sister.
Interesting.
Devil Devil Boy
Devil...
Devils who suck blood...
Vampires
Vampires.
Anyway, Araragi-san, from what I saw, she looked pretty capable.
You'd have to be as good as my master to be a match for her.
White Scene To be continued
You don't have a master.